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A Day in the Life of The Beau Named Joe

June 25, 2008

Ed. note: Boys will be boys. I didn’t get this until I left for work this morning. Sorry for those on the seat of your chair in anticipation. Hope your panties weren’t too bunchy. 😉 It’s okay, because he titled the email “Good morning, beautiful!” which, of course, makes everything wonderful. Enjoy the glimpse into the life and times of the Beau! -R

Hi friends!! It’s me, The Beau, here to prove to you that I’m not just a figment of Renee’s imagination! Supposedly you’ve all been waiting eagerly to hear the tale of my perilous journey across the Midwest to visit the lovely Renee, so here it is!

As you may know, I spent last weekend with Renee and her family, celebrating her cousin’s wedding. Seeing that I live in Minnesota, and am I broke college grad, I decided to take the Megabus from Minnesota to Chicago, and then catch a commuter train on to Indiana. I’ve done this a few times before and never really had any problems, but I must have done something to anger the powers that be, because my ride last week was far from smooth.

I boarded the bus in Minnesota at 7:30 Wednesday morning (30 minutes late). As soon as we started rolling, the driver announced that a tire was low and we would be making a quick stop to fill it up. No problem, the tire got fixed and we were on our way across Wisconsin, albeit an hour behind schedule. The bus had a scheduled stop in Milwaukee, and by the time we arrived there our tardiness had increased another hour due to the flooding in Wisconsin.

I should explain here that the Megabus drivers have a policy that says they can’t drive if a passenger is being unruly and uncooperative. Seems like a good rule, right? I thought so too, until we encountered one of said passengers in Milwaukee (he was apparently upset because the bus was two hours late). To make a long story a little bit shorter, by the time we left Milwaukee the police had been called, said passenger was still extremely angry (but not on the bus) and we were over three hours behind schedule. Nonetheless, we were on the last leg of the journey, and I would still be able to catch the last train to South Bend.

I settled down to read The Kite Runner (a great book by the way) until we reached Chicago, and everything seemed to be grand. We drove he rest of the way in to Illinois, and about 50 miles further, and then all hell broke loose. I was jolted from my reading by the sudden stopping of the bus and the driver yelling for everyone to get off immediately, all of this accompanied by a large cloud of white smoke drifting past the bus windows. I’m still not sure if a tire blew or if the engine caught fire, but either way we spent the next three hours or so sitting in the express lane of I294 waiting for more buses to come pick us up. During this time we were lucky enough to be assisted by two “highway helpers” in big yellow trucks, get yelled at by a state trooper with a superiority complex, and do something that most people will never be able to do: walk around in the middle of an interstate highway without getting arrested!

Eventually, after the highway helpers, the cop and the driver had put us back on the bus, attempted to tow it, realized they couldn’t tow it, shut down the express lane, gotten us back off the bus and finally called for more buses to come get us, we were rescued by a driver who told us to call him ”Superman.”

Twenty-five minutes later, we pulled into downtown Chicago, over five hours later than planned. I booked it across town (not fun with luggage and in sandals) and caught an 8:50 train out of the city (I had planned to catch a 4:00 train). To top it all off, I missed the last train that would get me to South Bend, and the wonderful Renee had to drive an hour to pick me up in Michigan City (which she did readily and cheerfully, of course!). I slept until 1pm the next day, and it was wonderful. And so was the rest of the weekend!

So there you have it, I hope the tale of my journey provided you all with a few minutes of quality entertainment. Feel free to laugh at my misfortune, I sure did!

Until next time,
The Beau Named Joe

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