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Live blogging the closing ceremonies

August 25, 2008

Twitter would have been overloaded. I came in a little late…

7:25 I wonder if they’ll have a pretty adult woman lip synch a song sung by an ugly woman.
7:28 Joe: They’re wearing bicycle helmets!!
7:29 The wave? That’s the best you can do, China? 100,000 drunk football fans can do that.
7:30 Dr. Seuss meets Cirque de Soleil?
7:32 I wish I did drugs about now.
7:33 Giant single-wheeled bicycle arrives. Joe: “I seriously want one of those!”
7:36 Bouncy stilts appear. Joe: “More than like ANYTHING, I want bouncy stilts!”
7:37 Oh no, dented circle! Step it up China!
7:38 I need an entire outfit made of bells. Why? To wake Joe up in the morning, of course.
Commercial break. Thank God, I almost died of hysterical never ending “What the fucks.” Is it over?

7:41 It’s not over. Athlete stampede!!
7:42 I want to be friends with the Italian guy with the flags taped all over his face and head. Crazy Italians…
7:42 Oh, good, the cheerleaders are back. I missed them and their skankiness.
7:45 Australia appears to be wearing Sea World park uniforms.
7:46 Aww, Shawn Johnson! Let’s be friiiiieeeends!!!! You so tiny! Especially when you stand next to normal sized people!
7:48 Usain Bolt: great runner or greatest runner?
Commercial break. I wish I were part of that party.

7:52 I took a potty break. What did I miss? Oh, the Bird’s Nest still looks like the student section of a football game…
7:53 OMG, Yao! Please stand next to Shawn Johnson.
7:55 Team USA is wearing Polo. Trendy bastards.
Another commercial break. Thanks, I’m tired of the boring fraternizing.
Oh wait! Olympic highlights!
7:56 Michael Phelps: great swimmer or greatest swimmer?
Commercial break.

7:59 Non-Olympic news: Just heard glass breaking outside. Hope that wasn’t our car windows. Joe goes to check. Our cars are peachy.

8:01 Did those marathon winners get a chance to shower before this?
8:04 Joe and I discuss which flag is the coolest in the world. He says Kenya (boring!), I say Macedonia (awesome!). Clearly, I am right.
8:06 Who did those choice few volunteers have to sleep with to get flowers?
8:07 Olympic highlights! Shawn Johnson! Way to wear a cute ribbon in your hair instead of a stupid scrunchy.
Commercial break.

8:12 The national anthem of Greece makes me want to be on a yacht in the Mediterranean…in a very Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants kind of way.
8:14 Hey, NBC? We can’t understand the commentators over the President’s speech. Good job. Or not.
8:17 Merci, Jacques. I couldn’t understand you either.
8:18 Olympic highlights! Oh wait, I don’t like basketball. Snore. What is with this hardrock remake of Phil Collins???
Commercial break.

8:22 I totally had no idea that Great Britain’s national anthem was Of Thee I Sing. I feel kinda stupid because of this.
8:25 I’m bored again.
8:26 FIREWORKS. Probably digitally enhanced.
8:29 Closing ceremonies are done for China.

I’ll spare you from live blogging the London stuff. But I hear there’s a Transformer double decker bus and Leona Lewis.

(8:30 Olympic highlights! Nastia Liukin! Floor exercise! Don’t fall on your ass!)

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. ericablonde permalink
    August 25, 2008 2:36 am

    The London stuff was great! Transformer bus FTW!

    Canadian athletes brought out all the stops.
    http://s.wsj.net/media/canada_cs_20080824134518.jpg

  2. ericablonde permalink
    August 25, 2008 2:36 am

    The London stuff was great! Transformer bus FTW!

    Canadian athletes brought out all the stops.
    http://s.wsj.net/media/canada_cs_20080824134518.jpg

  3. Rachel permalink
    August 25, 2008 3:07 am

    GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! Seriously I was thinking ALL those things! I even Twittered about the bike helmets.

  4. Rachel permalink
    August 25, 2008 3:07 am

    GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! Seriously I was thinking ALL those things! I even Twittered about the bike helmets.

  5. Phil permalink
    August 25, 2008 1:53 pm

    Since I’m back in LA now, I’m without TV. You win for live-blogging this! You totally made it seem like I could see everything. But, did they have Bela? He’s the reason gymnastics is so entertaining to me.

  6. Phil permalink
    August 25, 2008 1:53 pm

    Since I’m back in LA now, I’m without TV. You win for live-blogging this! You totally made it seem like I could see everything. But, did they have Bela? He’s the reason gymnastics is so entertaining to me.

  7. August 25, 2008 1:54 pm

    I only tuned in just in time to see the Transformer bus. SERIOUSLY, IT BLEW MY MIND. Then I was disappointed because they didn’t feed the mic for the singer that was singing with JIMMY PAGE! So I got fed up and turned off the TV.

  8. August 25, 2008 1:54 pm

    I only tuned in just in time to see the Transformer bus. SERIOUSLY, IT BLEW MY MIND. Then I was disappointed because they didn’t feed the mic for the singer that was singing with JIMMY PAGE! So I got fed up and turned off the TV.

  9. About Jen, Domestic Goddess permalink
    August 26, 2008 3:53 pm

    Ok I WISH you had included the London stuff, because I was out of town and missed it! 😦 You are hilarious.

  10. About Jen, Domestic Goddess permalink
    August 26, 2008 3:53 pm

    Ok I WISH you had included the London stuff, because I was out of town and missed it! 😦 You are hilarious.

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