I struggle constantly for authenticity in my life. I believe I can achieve it. I ache for an authentic equality in my relationship, an authentic sexuality, authentic hungers, authentic spirituality, and a personal authentic style. I strive to be true to myself, authentic at my core, not just unique in vanity. I yearn for what is best for me, for my life, at this very moment.
I need to do what is best by my own standards. I don’t need to be the best. I don’t need to carry everyone else’s weight on my own shoulders. I don’t need unnecessary burdens. I need my health, I need the love in my heart, I need support.
I need authenticity.
I have not been true to myself. I have not put myself first. I have been selfless, which is different than unselfish. I have not even counted my self as a being. I must take a step back. I must struggle to find my authentic voice once again. I must purge jealousy and guilt in order to see myself as an equal player once again.
I will find my voice. I will reclaim my voice. I will use my voice. I will relax. I will speak up. I will not be cut-throat. I will love. I will relax. I will not let myself stress. I will be true. I will speak truth. I will relax. I will take what I need and give what I can. I will ask for help. I will ask questions. I will relax. I will find beauty. I will seek honesty. I will rejuvenate. I will focus on my own authentic needs. And I will relax.