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Back Home Again in Indiana

November 24, 2008

It’s strange being here… There was a reason I left this town and now I realize it’s because I was suffocating. I ached for something new, a change of pace, a way to start over. Now that I’m back here, I feel like I’m suffocating again. Not just because of my mother’s cigarette smoke (which doesn’t help), it’s the expectation here. The Chicago ‘burbs aren’t exactly a haven, what with the traffic and all the people and the high taxes and the gas prices… but compared to here? To me, Indiana will always be home, but it will also always remind me of people from high school, ignorance, intolerance, and “those people who will never leave this town.”

I’ve become “one of those people who gets the hell out of this town.” This place puts you in a box. You’re expected to go to the satellite campus of the state school, you graduate in 5-6 years, you have a few kids, you have your stereotypical and hypocritical white wedding, your relationship becomes a facebook legacy, you divorce… and then you stay here. Why the hell would you stay here? (Okay, my very best friend went that route, but she’s doing it in Texas, not in Indiana, and her marriage is probably the happiest I’ve ever seen, so it totally works for some people. But it’s because she’s insanely intelligent and driven.)

I digress. Do I have a fondness of my hometown? Of course. I have good memories of skipping algebra to go out for pancakes at the cheapy pancake restaurant with my best friend and Thursday night cast parties at Steak and Shake and giving love notes to strangers in the artsy fartsy café. I have good memories of college here, meeting my beau, cultivating lasting friendships, earning an education well worth the six digits I paid. I have good memories of house parties and beer pong and cab rides and girls’ nights. I have good memories of camp counseling and computer fixing and interning and ice cream scooping.

I got my start here. Of course I’m grateful.
But I’m oh so grateful to move on.
(And I’m already counting down the hours until I’m back home in Illinois.)

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. Deutlich permalink
    November 24, 2008 1:45 pm

    Sometimes we all just have to move on, ya know?

    I really can’t wait for the day I can do the same.

  2. Deutlich permalink
    November 24, 2008 1:45 pm

    Sometimes we all just have to move on, ya know?

    I really can’t wait for the day I can do the same.

  3. Stephanie permalink
    November 24, 2008 2:31 pm

    Ditto on the counting down.

  4. Stephanie permalink
    November 24, 2008 2:31 pm

    Ditto on the counting down.

  5. Belle Ecrivaine permalink
    November 24, 2008 3:06 pm

    Sometimes being stuck in the same place for too long makes life static. Sometimes you just need to move somewhere new to jump-start your life into a new direction, one that is more fulfilling. Good luck!

  6. Belle Ecrivaine permalink
    November 24, 2008 3:06 pm

    Sometimes being stuck in the same place for too long makes life static. Sometimes you just need to move somewhere new to jump-start your life into a new direction, one that is more fulfilling. Good luck!

  7. Amanda permalink
    November 24, 2008 3:34 pm

    Where I lived in Alabama and Ohio are exactly like that, down to the Thursday night cast parties at Steak and Shake. It was nice growing up there, but I’m so glad to be gone.

  8. Amanda permalink
    November 24, 2008 3:34 pm

    Where I lived in Alabama and Ohio are exactly like that, down to the Thursday night cast parties at Steak and Shake. It was nice growing up there, but I’m so glad to be gone.

  9. LuckLys permalink
    November 24, 2008 4:13 pm

    i grew up in wisconsin, and everyone i know still lives in or around their home-town or plan on going back once they finish college. it’s ridiculous, and i am with you all the way. i love my hometown, i’m extremely grateful for the chance i got to grow up there, but there is a time to move on. i don’t want to live that close to my high school…

  10. LuckLys permalink
    November 24, 2008 4:13 pm

    i grew up in wisconsin, and everyone i know still lives in or around their home-town or plan on going back once they finish college. it’s ridiculous, and i am with you all the way. i love my hometown, i’m extremely grateful for the chance i got to grow up there, but there is a time to move on. i don’t want to live that close to my high school…

  11. Rachel permalink
    November 24, 2008 4:28 pm

    I feel the same way. I am going to MI for my 10 yr reunion on Sat. but I am not staying in town any longer than I have to….

  12. Rachel permalink
    November 24, 2008 4:28 pm

    I feel the same way. I am going to MI for my 10 yr reunion on Sat. but I am not staying in town any longer than I have to….

  13. jessica maria permalink
    November 24, 2008 8:53 pm

    I never had a real hometown, but I’m kind of glad I don’t have to go home to a certain town and see people I don’t care to see. (we moved every 2 years growing up – my parents moved after i graduated, and I don’t know anybody except them in the town they live in. totally fine with me!)

  14. jessica maria permalink
    November 24, 2008 8:53 pm

    I never had a real hometown, but I’m kind of glad I don’t have to go home to a certain town and see people I don’t care to see. (we moved every 2 years growing up – my parents moved after i graduated, and I don’t know anybody except them in the town they live in. totally fine with me!)

  15. Sandy permalink
    November 24, 2008 9:11 pm

    I can relate. My town is one that people tend to stay in- but mainly it’s because their parent’s make their lives so cushy, they never need to leave.
    I? Can’t wait to get out. Glad you did, already.

  16. Sandy permalink
    November 24, 2008 9:11 pm

    I can relate. My town is one that people tend to stay in- but mainly it’s because their parent’s make their lives so cushy, they never need to leave.
    I? Can’t wait to get out. Glad you did, already.

  17. Carmen permalink
    November 24, 2008 9:43 pm

    I totally understand… I have booked my flight home from Christmas and I will be there for 10 days… the entire time in hiding from all of the people that never left.

  18. Carmen permalink
    November 24, 2008 9:43 pm

    I totally understand… I have booked my flight home from Christmas and I will be there for 10 days… the entire time in hiding from all of the people that never left.

  19. amanda rae permalink
    November 25, 2008 1:14 am

    when’s the last time you’ve been back? when i came back from england i was surprised to see how much sb had changed!

  20. amanda rae permalink
    November 25, 2008 1:14 am

    when’s the last time you’ve been back? when i came back from england i was surprised to see how much sb had changed!

  21. Katelin permalink
    November 25, 2008 1:29 am

    i think we all reach that point where we just have to move on at some point.

  22. Katelin permalink
    November 25, 2008 1:29 am

    i think we all reach that point where we just have to move on at some point.

  23. notthelifeiordered permalink
    November 25, 2008 4:59 pm

    Now that a lot of my old high school friends are friending me on facebook I’m starting to realize just how many of those who said they would leave, are still in my old hometown. And like you, I DONT KNOW WHY. And you know what? They’re still doing the same shit we did in HS. I’m so glad I got out. Luckily my parents did too so I don’t have a reason to have to go back there. 🙂 Not that I don’t miss it from time to time, but I’ve moved on.

  24. notthelifeiordered permalink
    November 25, 2008 4:59 pm

    Now that a lot of my old high school friends are friending me on facebook I’m starting to realize just how many of those who said they would leave, are still in my old hometown. And like you, I DONT KNOW WHY. And you know what? They’re still doing the same shit we did in HS. I’m so glad I got out. Luckily my parents did too so I don’t have a reason to have to go back there. 🙂 Not that I don’t miss it from time to time, but I’ve moved on.

  25. bFlat permalink
    November 25, 2008 7:58 pm

    It was so wonderful to catch up with you yesterday. Lets do it again soon!

    I also second your motion on coming home. I have no friends left at home so that always makes for some awkward times. My parents get sick me hanging out with them every night.

  26. bFlat permalink
    November 25, 2008 7:58 pm

    It was so wonderful to catch up with you yesterday. Lets do it again soon!

    I also second your motion on coming home. I have no friends left at home so that always makes for some awkward times. My parents get sick me hanging out with them every night.

  27. ZenDenizen permalink
    November 26, 2008 7:31 pm

    I’m one of those people that never left so it was interesting to see things from your perspective.

    Have a great holiday!

  28. ZenDenizen permalink
    November 26, 2008 7:31 pm

    I’m one of those people that never left so it was interesting to see things from your perspective.

    Have a great holiday!

  29. Vanessa permalink
    November 27, 2008 11:57 pm

    Sometimes moving on is best because it means growth, expansion of ideas and enlightenment. Nothing wrong with staying, but it’s certainly not for everyone. Deep within each of us, we know if we are go-ers or stay-ers.

  30. Vanessa permalink
    November 27, 2008 11:57 pm

    Sometimes moving on is best because it means growth, expansion of ideas and enlightenment. Nothing wrong with staying, but it’s certainly not for everyone. Deep within each of us, we know if we are go-ers or stay-ers.

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