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The Types of People Who Drive Your Barista Bonkers

August 26, 2009

I love my job. I mentioned that in my last post. I’ll tell you all the reasons why I love my job later. But today, I’m going to share with you
The Types of People Who Drive Your Barista Bonkers.

  1. People who order for the whole office then huff and puff because their huge order of hot espresso drinks and multiple blended drinks is taking some time.
  2. Moms with multiple children under the age of 4 who meet up with other moms with multiple children under the age of 4 and they all insist on feeding their messy young children the flakiest croissants we have to offer.
  3. The girl who orders a ridiculous drink and neglects to listen for the barista to call her drink. Your barista gets tired of repeatedly yelling “Medium non-fat decaf white irish cream mocha, no whip” and so does the guy sitting at the table next to the barista station.
  4. The salesman who comes in every day and asks for the owner who doesn’t keep set hours (would you?). Dude, call ahead. Make an appointment.
  5. The lady who asks if there’s ice cream in the smoothie. “No, it’s a smoothie, not a milkshake, ma’am.” “I WAS ONLY ASKING A QUESTION.” (This lady is alternately known as the lady who forgot to take her Prozac.)
  6. Anyone who orders their drink at a specific temperature. Sorry, sir, you and your 125 degree latte are douchebags.
  7. The lunch crowd. We do not wait tables. This is a coffeeshop. Don’t be ridiculous.
  8. The lady who answers her phone in the middle of her order while there is a line behind her and won’t finish what she’s telling the barista.
  9. Anyone who orders in Starbucks lingo. “I’ll have a tall skinny latte.” “Umm, is that a small?”
  10. Anyone who looks impatient. We are not Starbucks. We manually pull our espresso shots. Shots have to be of a certain quality for us to serve them and that doesn’t happen every time when you manually pull shots. Be patient, you came for quality, not mass production.

You guys, don’t be these people. Respect your barista; she got up early and has probably burnt herself at least six times today making your coffee. Tip her, even a quarter helps. She’ll remember you did.

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23 Comments leave one →
  1. August 26, 2009 6:09 pm

    I want a skinny blog post with a whipped-
    *phone rings*
    Hello?
    *holds finger up to you as you wait*

  2. August 26, 2009 6:48 pm

    AMEN!

  3. kori permalink
    August 26, 2009 7:02 pm

    I didn’t even know people could order lattes at specific temperatures. Also, I hate when people talk on their phone when ordering. So so wack.

  4. August 26, 2009 7:04 pm

    word! those people are so annoying.

  5. August 26, 2009 7:07 pm

    *hangs up phone*
    -with whipped humor and a touch of sarcasm.
    *taps foot*

  6. August 26, 2009 7:12 pm

    hahahaha, you must have more patience than me!!

  7. August 26, 2009 7:33 pm

    This is exactly what drives me nuts when I’m the customer in line behind the girl who answers her phone and doesn’t finish telling her order!!

  8. August 26, 2009 7:44 pm

    I hate the moms who let their children run wild, SO annoying. Last time I checked coffee shop does not equal playground.

  9. August 26, 2009 7:45 pm

    Could we hurry up here? My daughter is getting restless. Isn’t she the cutest? She’s 4 you know.
    Whoops she just knocked over your coffee bean display.
    Seriously, where’s my post?

  10. August 26, 2009 7:45 pm

    Ooh, what about the people who want a soy drink with whipped cream? very smart, y’all. Also, WORD on the scalding of oneself. Latte-making is dangerous!

    As a former (small voice…”Starbucks”) barista, I do have to say that there is a lot of unnecessary chatter at the ‘bucks about how ABSOLUTELY CRAZY it is that “tall” means “small.” Right. Maybe it was crazy, before Starbucks took over the world. Now…it is just annoying. Starbucks baristas know what small, medium, and large are, and any of them that correct customers are just jerks.

  11. August 26, 2009 7:46 pm

    I was a barista for 5 years and I totally agree with this list.

  12. August 26, 2009 8:10 pm

    I’ve actually never been in a real shop or cafe like this… but aside from the crazy people, it sounds wonderful. πŸ™‚

  13. August 26, 2009 8:23 pm

    Can I just say how much I hate the stupid sizes at Starbucks? So lame. And manually pulled espresso shots are totally worth the wait!

  14. August 26, 2009 8:24 pm

    I was a barista for a short period of time, and the following types of people irritated me: living.

  15. August 26, 2009 9:00 pm

    As a customer, those people ignore me as well. I just get annoyed quickly by people who can’t seem to have some type of courtesy for baristas or other people in the food service industry.

  16. August 26, 2009 10:39 pm

    I don’t really drink coffee, but I *love* coffee shops (sad face for not having a personal neighborhood coffee shop where I live right now to call my own and go to religiously), and I’ve been in them enough to have seen all of these people.

    The only person I’m guilty of being, from time to time, is the one who asks the barista to tell me which is better in case I’m feeling indecisive. I’ve never once regretted taking a suggestion from a barista. πŸ™‚

    • August 28, 2009 5:13 pm

      Phil, read my post today – we totally love people like you!! Suggesting drinks is one of my fave things to do.

  17. Lauren From Texas permalink
    August 27, 2009 7:43 am

    People are douchebags. I am in full agreement that anyone who thinks their drink should be a certain temperature is way too into themselves.

    By the way, KylaRoma suggested your blog to me, and I’m glad she did! If you get a minute, stop by mine! πŸ™‚

    xo

  18. August 27, 2009 8:26 am

    So my cousin is a barista at Starbucks and centers most of her blog (and a whole category) around EXACTLY this kind of stuff. You should check her out – I bet you’d read her and be all, “I KNOW!”

    Her name’s Michelle, she’s fucking awesome: http://dreamstela.wordpress.com/

    Oh! And so are you. πŸ™‚

  19. dreamstela permalink
    August 27, 2009 10:28 am

    Oh, how I love being a barista. And yes, I work at SBUX, but I try to pretend that my coffee shop has that “local” feel. I hope it does, at least, we have lots of good regulars that sit and hang out for hours. My pretending keeps me going…

    The way I feel about SBUX sizes is the way I feel about having to say “big mac” and “whopper”. It’s a burger, so what if the store calls it something special.

    But yes, things that drive baristas crazy seem to be universal.

  20. dreamstela permalink
    August 27, 2009 10:30 am

    Oh, and also…
    I would LOVE it if we pulled manual shots. Yum.

  21. August 27, 2009 4:17 pm

    The kid thing should apply to many restaurants and places in the US. Do I like kids? Yes, but when I’m having a grown-up meal, I don’t like little children screaming over my sentences. Not one bit.

    If I ever come visit you at work, you’re getting more than a .25 tip!

  22. August 27, 2009 5:01 pm

    I was a barista in college and LOVE this list. And when it comes to those college kids, I’d have to add another:
    – If you’re already running late for class, don’t bitch at the barista to hurry along and make your drink. It’s your fault you are running late. Not hers.

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