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the female gaze

September 4, 2009

Only other girls can make a girl feel this low about her body. And ironically, only other girls can understand and make a girl feel better about it.

Tell me I shouldn’t feel guilty for having onion rings and two beers for lunch. Tell me I shouldn’t feel guilty for following up with a dinner of nachos and a beer. Tell me I shouldn’t feel guilty for not having run a mile since I was 14. Tell me I look good.

Because I feel healthy.

(Just not after I wolf down a plate of nachos and shitty beer.)

It’s a vulnerable Friday. And I’m tired.

19 Comments leave one →
  1. September 4, 2009 11:12 pm

    It’s so hard to not let yourself go there, but it’s worth the work. Being healthy means you’re allowed to treat yourself and not torture yourself after. You don’t have to log miles on a treadmill to be allowed to have treats here and there, lady- you’re allowed them because you don’t have them for breakfast every day of the week.

    This is my whole beauty philosophy: we are in our twenties. We will never look better than this. We will look back on these pictures and sigh, no matter how we feel at this moment about having that pop or this wine. We should enjoy this while it lasts, live generally as healthily as we can, and have fun. And indulge. Because when we’re in our 40’s we’ll have a lot more real body image issues to deal with. So lets go easy on ourselves while there’s not a lot to pick at.

    You are BEAUTIFUL and I would share nachos with you any day. ❤

  2. September 5, 2009 12:31 am

    The bag of combos I had for lunch was followed up with a raspberry mocha latte and a rainbow cookie for dinner. Sometimes, Fridays are made for females to indulge in whatever they want!

    It is more than okay for you to indulge every once in a while, as long as you feel healthy, don’t ever let anyone, particularly not another female, make you feel guilty about it!!

  3. September 5, 2009 4:15 am

    I’m breaking form and saying my piece… which is, you look fabulous! A teacher of mine from college, who is now a good friend and colleague, always comes to mind. No matter what the circumstances, no matter what you feel about this, you must look into the mirror every day and say “Damn, I look GOOD today.” I’ve become a big believer in it, and it really does make you realize that, you know what, I (and you) DO look good today.

  4. September 5, 2009 7:26 am

    I agree with everyone. As long as you feel healthy, forget what anyone else has to say! If I want to eat chips and a brownie for dinner, that’s what’s going to happen. If I have a craving for cheeseburger, I’ll have one. I don’t know why women can’t always be supportive of each other, especially throughout our most sensitive times. You should believe you’re gorgeous and that’s all that matters.

  5. September 5, 2009 6:37 pm

    I wish I could say something to make your woes better, but I am currently going through the same thing. I hate feeling guilty for my food choices, or for the fact that I haven’t exercised in about 2 years. I hate certain parts of my body, & say the meanest things to it sometimes. It’s absolutely miserable, but it seems to be… life (for a woman, at least).

    I definitely know how you feel right now. <3.

  6. September 5, 2009 7:20 pm

    I could tell you not to feel guilty, but then it would be totally hypocritical as I sit here feeling guilty about the (large) piece of lemon meringue pie I just ate. haha

    We all have these days… and I say–enjoy them. The gym will still be there tomorrow. 😉

  7. Erin permalink
    September 5, 2009 11:37 pm

    If you’re happy with you it doesn’t matter what those looks say.

  8. September 6, 2009 11:38 am

    I’m in agreement with everyone else. If you feel healthy and good, why worry about what everyone else thinks? Especially those girls who want to make you feel bad.

    Enjoy feeling healthy, and treat yourself. You’re allowed. We all are, and it’s nice to enjoy some beer and nachos or whatever every once in a while. (:

  9. September 6, 2009 1:38 pm

    I always get embarrassed when I order my caramel apple spice with no whipped cream. I feel like I get that, “Oh, she thinks she’s fat” look when I do. Truth is, I just don’t like milk in my apple juice! It gets to me every time!

    Anyhow, if you feel healthy, that’s what’s important. We are all allowed to have days of pure junk food. Sometimes, I have whole weeks like that.

  10. September 6, 2009 2:34 pm

    You’re beautiful and every girl is allowed to indulge herself whenever she wants! Life is too short to not be happy.

  11. September 7, 2009 10:47 am

    i had onion rings, fries AND a slice of pizza followed by some beef stir fry for supper and what feels like a gallon of iced tea.

    that’s gotta make you feel better!

  12. September 7, 2009 5:57 pm

    Being healthy is definitely the most important. And you are gorgeous! I say eat more nachos, its clearly working for you! 🙂

  13. September 8, 2009 3:15 am

    Nachos + onion rings + beer? yes yes yes! Sounds delish to me! Besides it’s Friday — you were just celebrating the weekend! And yes, you are adorable. So why shouldn’t a newlywed 23-year-old cutie be able to enjoy a plate of nachos on a lovely Friday in September? Hmmm I think I want pizza for dinner tomorrow! For realz yo

  14. September 8, 2009 12:38 pm

    Nachos and onions rings? Sounds DELICIOUS to me. Girls are mean – the end. Have you seen this?

    It upsets me a lot to think how messed up our heads our thinking we need to be teeny tiny and starve ourselves when nachos and onion rings sounds great to me. Don’t let them get you down, they are just envious of your awesome, tasty food.

  15. September 8, 2009 5:50 pm

    no need to feel guilty! man that sounds delicious, haha. and heck woman you look fabulous. as long as you feel healthy i think that’s all that really matters.

  16. September 8, 2009 8:25 pm

    I had mashed potatoes for dinner. Nothing else. And I loved every damn bite.

    You are beautiful and lovely and perfect.

  17. September 9, 2009 11:49 am

    You are stunning & lovely & cute. And I’ve got a strong right uppercut for anyone who leads you to believe anything else.


  18. September 9, 2009 2:56 pm

    Nachos? I’m coming over with the beer!

    I just ate 1/2 my chipotle burrito for lunch so I’m not here to ever make anyone feel guilty. Last week? I ate a whole row of Oreos in two days. TWO DAYS. And guess what? It felt slightly rebellious and amazing all at the same time.

    You are amazing, beautiful, sweet, sincere and can eat anything you want so far as I’m concerned!

  19. September 19, 2009 5:56 pm

    I’m really belated in reading this post, but I just had to leave a comment because I’m presently going through the same exact thing. It’s tough feeling torn between knowing you’re healthy, knowing you look pretty darn good and the other side – which is the pressure to look like someone else, the pressure of “you’re not quite good enough yet”.

    Honestly? You are absolutely beautiful. Your smile lights up a room, and I’m not going to lie, you totally rocked that bathing suit in Vegas like nobody’s business.

    With each insecurity you feel, just keep reminding yourself what a gem you are. And really, you are definitely not alone with ANYTHING you are going through!

    (I also loved Kyla’s comment – awesome points! Someday we’ll all be 40-somethings and be looking back on these days and our bodies and saying, “Oh, gawd. I was so tiny. NOT FAIR.”)

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