A very Food Network plea
I want a Food Network show. I’ve decided I will only feel truly successful if I have a Food Network show. Not only do I consider Guy Fieri and Duff Goldman my bffs, I also subscribe to the Food Network magazine and talk back to Giada like I know more Italian than she does.
Regardless, here’s my plan.
I’m kind of a kickass barista, in case you haven’t heard. So kickass that I’m considering going to advanced barista school where part of the curriculum is learning how to compete in barista competitions. That’s the first step to my Food Network show. I will learn how to compete and then I will compete. There’s a Midwest Barista Competition that I had hoped to go to this weekend, but I had to volunteer to work my Halloween. That’s okay. I can’t compete yet. I don’t have mad skillz to drop yet. Here are the steps to getting a Food Network show after I graduate from barista school:
1. Compete in a barista competition.
2. Win barista competition.
3. Win other barista competitions.
4. Food Network must host a Food Network Challenge: Latte Art or something equally awesome/coffee related.
5. Win Food Network Challenge: Mocha Madness.
6. Show Food Network how cute and bubbly I am and how good of a barista I am.
7. Get my own show. Travel to independent coffee roasters and a) drop some knowledge on those baristas and b) taste delicious home-roasted brews and discuss the nougaty aftertaste and hints of lemony berry of certain blends. (See? I speak coffee tasting!)
But seriously, Food Network, let’s get on this. Some people plead to Google, others plead to Etsy. I plead to my true love, Food Network and coffee. I know my stuff. I’m super cute. And I drink a lot of coffee.
Who’s going to help me?