When did my uterine activity become public fodder?
We were hit with a strange blow a week or so ago. Apparently, rumor around Joe’s office was we are pregnant and that’s why we are moving. This rumor was met with a resounding OH HELL NO.
But it’s not the only inkling we’ve heard of this.
When we were looking at houses and apartments, our agent mentioned something about kids and added, “You don’t think so now, but just you wait.” One of my favorite customers asked me -out of nowhere- if I had kids. The freaking Knot Nest keeps sending me STUPID NEWSLETTERS about babies. FACEBOOK wants me to procreate IMMEDIATELY. Okay, now I’m just angry about it.
Here’s the thing. We got married three months ago. Sure, kids will be great… but we’re still kids ourselves. We’re 23 years old! I am nowhere near baby fever; I still get anti-baby hives thinking about sex. We still argue over petty things, we still eat dinner on the couch, we still leave our folded laundry in the living room for days, and we never clean our kitchen. WE ARE NOWHERE NEAR READY FOR KIDS. Just because we’re moving to a house with a yard and a third bedroom doesn’t mean we’re going to busy. A family doesn’t make a home. And the incessant baby buzz coming at us from all angles doesn’t make a family.
I’ve lead my life by the story I was supposed to follow thus far. I’ve done it by the books. But now it’s my turn. To those who are pressuring us to “settle down,” I say:
Please stop writing my story.
I have so much left to say myself before I say it through children.