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Repost: A Meditation, A Reminder

December 5, 2009

I originally posted the following on October 7, 2008. I’m proud of this post enough to post it again but additionally, I know it’s something I need to remind myself every once in awhile… especially right now.

I struggle constantly for authenticity in my life. I believe I can achieve it. I ache for an authentic equality in my relationship, an authentic sexuality, authentic hungers, authentic spirituality, and a personal authentic style. I strive to be true to myself, authentic at my core, not just unique in vanity. I yearn for what is best for me, for my life, at this very moment.

I need to do what is best by my own standards. I don’t need to be the best. I don’t need to carry everyone else’s weight on my own shoulders. I don’t need unnecessary burdens. I need my health, I need the love in my heart, I need support.

I need authenticity.

I have not been true to myself. I have not put myself first. I have been selfless, which is different than unselfish. I have not even counted my self as a being. I must take a step back. I must struggle to find my authentic voice once again. I must purge jealousy and guilt in order to see myself as an equal player once again.

I will find my voice. I will reclaim my voice. I will use my voice. I will relax. I will speak up. I will not be cut-throat. I will love. I will relax. I will not let myself stress. I will be true. I will speak truth. I will relax. I will take what I need and give what I can. I will ask for help. I will ask questions. I will relax. I will find beauty. I will seek honesty. I will rejuvenate. I will focus on my own authentic needs. And I will relax.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. December 5, 2009 10:39 pm

    I loved this post then, and it rings so much truer now. Beautiful post Renee.

  2. December 6, 2009 12:37 am

    Inspiring words.

    Definitely something that I needed to read, with the way things have been going in my life.

  3. December 6, 2009 6:38 pm

    Definitely needed to read this. Thank you SO much for re-sharing it.

  4. December 6, 2009 7:35 pm

    This post deserves 2 thumbs up! Kinda reminds me of this article… http://bitchmagazine.org/post/taken-over-by-the-fear-lily-allen-quits-the-internet

    I will relax 🙂

  5. December 7, 2009 1:31 pm

    “Like” this post. Thumbs up. I so relate and I recently wrote something pretty similar. What I want most right now is to just be a genuine person.

  6. December 8, 2009 2:18 am

    Exactly what I needed to read right now.

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