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Three Vignettes: The Gaffe, The Couch, and The Card Game

January 24, 2010

The Gaffe
Nearly four weeks ago, Renee arranged for three letters of recommendation to be sent to the graduate school of her choice.  On Friday, she discovered paperwork that was to be sent in with each letter.  Frantically, she emailed her recommenders and calmly freaked out.
They will be resubmitting their letters.
Application fail.

The Couch
Joe and Renee moved into a new (to them) house in November.  Thanks to the holidays, it has taken them some time to settle in.  Having finally finished up the multitude of unpacking, they decided it is time to begin furnishing the finished-yet-unfurnished basement.  But where to begin?  Renee spends her days scouring eBay and Craigslist for various deals on furniture but there is a problem: they both drive sedans. However would they get a couch home?
One lazy Sunday, Joe and Renee decide to putz around a nearby town.  They hop in their sedan and head down the street. Much to their amusement, on the curb just a block from home sits the ugliest couch in existence with a sign exclaiming “FREE!”
“Hey, there’s a couch!” Renee jokes.
“Do you want it?” Joe asks.
“Well… it is in super nice condition,” Renee begins to consider it.
“Do you want it?” Joe patiently asks again.
“How would we get it home?” Renee asks.
Joe replies easily, “Carry it!”
Renee laughs at the thought. “If it’s still there when we come back, we’ll carry it home.”
Joe and Renee spend a few hours visiting shops and antique stores.  They return.  The couch still waits on the curb.  They trade their bulky winter coats for sweatshirts and change into sneakers.
“Let’s do this,” Renee says.
They walk down the street to where the ugly couch sits. They investigate and affirm that it is indeed in really great condition – no holes, no frays, no stains, and it doesn’t smell.  They attempt to lift it.  Renee’s back starts to wince under the pressure.
“This isn’t happening,” she finally says.
They head up to the door, intending to ask if they’ll reserve the couch for just another hour or so until they recruit a friend with a truck.  A young man in the garage interrupts them.
“Do you need some help?” the young man asks. ER3YU2CFSSYJ
Renee replies, “We were going to carry this home but I think it’s too heavy.”
The young man suggests, “Want me to throw it into my truck and bring it over?”
And thus, the ugly couch has a new home.

The Card Game
Joe and Renee invited their friends Steph and Jon over for dinner and game night.  Renee made chili and Steph brought chocolate cake.  They played Blokus and Phase 10 until nearly midnight.
The jokes were aplenty but started to get a little sexist.  Renee mentioned this, gestured to her bookcase, and said, “Let’s take a moment to read some of my women’s studies books.”
Jon, seeing an opportunity on the bookshelf, replies, “The Joy of Cooking?”
Zing.

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18 Comments leave one →
  1. January 24, 2010 9:00 am

    These made me smile–thanks for that.

    I especially love that last one–he’s quick on his feet, hmm?

  2. January 24, 2010 10:12 am

    Applying to schools is so stressful!

    I’m glad there are still nice people in the world though…and you scored a free couch!

  3. January 24, 2010 11:30 am

    That’s awesome the couch was in perfect shape! That’s so rare!

  4. January 24, 2010 9:13 pm

    LOL Okay the last one made me burst out laughing. Very quick =)

  5. January 24, 2010 9:35 pm

    What a great list! I just learned this weekend that you can rent trucks at home depot for pretty cheap if you only need it for a quick errand. But, a helpful neighbor doing it for free is even better!

  6. January 24, 2010 10:14 pm

    I love that you’re talking about yourself in the third person. Hilarious. Congrats on the new couch.

  7. January 25, 2010 10:49 am

    You are too funny. I love you.

  8. January 25, 2010 3:10 pm

    Thanks for these, they were a great little read!

    I find that I occasionally want to start blogging, but am always impeded by the feeling that I “should” be writing long things that I just don’t have time for. Perhaps that fear’s a little misguided, and the concept of vignettes is a better idea… hmm…

    • January 25, 2010 3:24 pm

      Greg – a blog doesn’t have to be long… I think as long as it’s over 140 characters, it’s fair game. Do it!

  9. January 25, 2010 6:50 pm

    yay for a new couch, even if it is ugly that’s what covers are for 🙂

  10. January 25, 2010 7:57 pm

    I definitely LOLed at the Joy of Cooking. I guess it could be PERSONAL joy… or joy given to a commune of shoeless hippy women living in harmony and free from the patriarchy?

    Or I guess it could be your husband. 🙂

  11. January 25, 2010 10:31 pm

    Hahahaha! Yay new (to you) couch! 🙂

  12. January 26, 2010 12:25 am

    Love it when things work out (like the couch situation).

    Don’t love it when people zing us and we don’t expect it, though it does sound like chili + games are fun.

    When the weather gets better perhaps I could impose myself on you guys 🙂

  13. January 26, 2010 12:46 am

    Very nice (on the couch) and very funny (on the last one). 🙂

  14. January 28, 2010 10:50 pm

    It’s such a wonderful thing when you stumble upon kind strangers :). I love the “vignettes” idea!

  15. January 29, 2010 3:49 pm

    This is so cute. Yay for the new couch and the last one made me laugh outloud in starbucks!

  16. January 30, 2010 10:03 am

    The last one made me laugh out loud. That was quick thinking!

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