Strength is Where You Find It – Powerful Woman Monologue #9
About the Author: Mrs. One Day is a humor blogger at onedayimgonna.com. She also volunteers with bandbacktogether.com, a community weblog for people to come and share their stories. The new group weight loss blog, adifferentpathtoloss.blogspot.com features Mrs. One Day on Mondays. She is married to a wonderful, supportive man who makes her laugh. They like the cut of your jib.
The Powerful Woman Monologues are about women standing up and screaming from the rooftops that they aren’t second-class citizens, nor are they going to roll over and take a beating to their inner strength. It’s about showing the world that just because I’m a woman, it doesn’t mean that I’m not strong and it certainly doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.
When Renee first invited me to do a guest post, I was thrilled because one of my writing goals was to do them more often. I don’t want to do one every other day or anything, but I think reaching a broader audience is a good thing. When we first spoke, I had no idea what sort of post she wanted, but once I learned the subject matter, I was over the moon. Strong women. What female writer doesn’t want to write about that?
I sat down at my computer several times to write my piece and then I stared at the blank page and thought to myself, “I don’t have the first clue how to write about my own experience with strength. How the hell am I going to tell everyone what a strong woman I am when I don’t see myself that way?” How sad is that?
I asked my husband, “How am I a strong woman?”. He just looked at me and chuckled like this was the dumbest question he had ever been asked in his life. His silence afterward was deafening. He knew the answer, but he wasn’t about to tell me.
You see I’m not a healthy person. I don’t mean that I’m a normal person who doesn’t eat enough veggies or exercise as much as they should (though I need work in those areas too). I mean I have serious health problems that I won’t get in to here. You can read all about it on my personal blog, One Day I’m Gonna and on Band Back Together where I volunteer. Suffice it to say, I’ve been through a whole lot of hell where my health was concerned. I’ve been close to death more than once and I’ve been struggling to keep it together since then. I’m unable to work and feel like a failure a lot of the time because of my imagined shortcomings.
Saying I’ve been through a lot is an understatement, people. It’s been a whole fucking lot of stuff I hope none of you ever have to experience. Two rapes as a teenager that I was too scared to report. An abusive relationship with one of those rapists. Addiction in my family. Infertility. The death of my 2 month old nephew. Chronic pain. Multiple surgeries. Genetic disorders. The things I’ve gone through are unusual and stuff that most of you will never even have heard of. This is not to say that I am throwing my own personal pity party, it’s just the way my life is. And guess what? I’m still here.
These tragedies in my life could beat me and no one would blame me for giving up. Not a single, solitary person would fault me for wanting to crawl into bed and pulling the covers over my head forever. I refuse to be that person. I’m not giving in to my illnesses. I’m not going to let them take my spirit. They’ve taken enough from me already, haven’t they?
I’m a strong woman because I won’t give up. I may be down but I’m certainly not out. Not yet. I’m taking a stand here and now. Screw you, health problems! You don’t get to take everything from me. I don’t give you permission to take from me. I’m stronger than you think I am. That I can promise you. From now on I will see myself as a strong woman because the truth is that I have always been a tough little chickadee. Don’t ever underestimate the power of tenacity and a woman’s will to fight. I’m the proof.
About the series: Powerful Woman Monologues are compiled in response to the media’s representation of women as inspired by the film Miss Representation. If you would like to participate, email me. Any kind of creative contribution is welcome from anyone.
Special thanks to Ashley of Little Leaf Photography & Design for graciously creating the badge for our series!