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An Old Married Lady’s Guide to Snagging the Menfolk

June 14, 2012

I got married at 23. I am an expert at snagging menfolk. You will be, too, after taking this guide to heart. It is your new Bible. Breathe it. Take it seriously. It is foolproof.

Imbibe adult beverages in moderation.

Watch what you eat.
Onion rings and Yuengling do not make for a balanced lunch.

Along those same lines…
Don’t shove giant marshmallows in your mouth.

Only wear respectable spectacles.
Nerd glasses are out of the question.

Never let your friends publicly acknowledge your crush on a celebrity.

—-

If you’re in a play, refuse to wear the wig cap.
In fact, don’t be in plays. Respectable ladies don’t belong on stage.

Don’t hang out with bloggers.
They’re the worst kinds of people.

Only take flattering pictures of yourself.

Don’t talk to your cat.

If you follow these simple rules, you’ll end up with a respectable young man to be your partner for life.

But if you don’t follow these simple rules, you’ll end up with someone way cooler.

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. June 14, 2012 10:11 am

    I love this and I super love that photo of us.

  2. Mel Corbett permalink
    June 14, 2012 10:12 am

    lol, as a fellow old married lady (just turned 28 this weekend), I totally agree :-)and your pics are pure awesomeness… *ahem* what you mean I shouldn’t eat as much as my husband? yeah, so what if he’s twice my size

  3. June 14, 2012 10:15 am

    L-O-V-E this!

  4. June 14, 2012 10:48 am

    This post is amazing. Round of applause!

  5. June 14, 2012 1:15 pm

    Love this post!!!!

  6. June 14, 2012 1:16 pm

    This is awesome, love it!

  7. June 14, 2012 1:21 pm

    Haaa this is awesome. Beer and onion rings sounds like a great lunch!

  8. June 14, 2012 2:22 pm

    I love the way that respectable gentleman is eyeing you in the first photo.

  9. June 14, 2012 3:48 pm

    Haha!! Love this! =)

  10. June 14, 2012 5:42 pm

    this is just my favorite thing today.

  11. June 14, 2012 7:07 pm

    Yayyy me you and Jamie!!!! And this post is super cute. ❤

  12. June 18, 2012 4:18 pm

    I’m off to find a giant marshmallow to stuff in my mouth. Clearly, I believe in your wisdom.

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